It's blue. It's true.

It is very easy to pretend to be a duck when you are getting advice before you have your baby.  The old "it won't happen to me" water does come off your back easily at that stage.

And so, giving yourself a long list and not enough time, space or realistic expectations will obviously get your feathers wet.  I like to make lists.  They generally help me do things.  These lists (that I write down) include groceries, emails and other household things.  Those are not so scary.  And, because they are out in the open, you can have the satisfaction of ticking things off.

The problem lies in the lists that you keep to yourself.  I have many of these.  They are, at this stage, in danger of becoming an epidemic in my life.  Much like an unattainable new years resolution.  Like the aim to loose 10kgs in a week.  Before a wedding.

My list, at this stage, is all about pregnancy, parenting, surviving, getting medals.  Obviously I am the one handing out the medals.  So, when I cannot give myself the medal I was aiming for, I feel defeated.  Blue.

If truth be told, I feel like I may have figured out that, if I was to avoid being swallowed by the bluest of blues, I'd better make my lists public.  That way I can bank on the wonderful pep-talk that is the support of friends and mothers.  And maybe they can tell me about their lists.

And maybe, just maybe, other people will be more likely to hand out medals.